Resistance is Futile, or My Assimilation into the Borg

For all of you that have a "bit of a twist" like me I thought I would share my experience with a total knee replacement.

Resistance is futile. I had visited my Orthopedist [obviously, I had been seeing too much of him when he became 'mine'!] about knee pain. Yes, I was bone on bone. But I was ,"Too Young". Bless the man. He looked liked he might be an Eagle Scout. He must be telling the truth. OK. So a little arthroscopy for the cartilage tear. It left me not quite able to straighten my leg fully but hey, I was young! [Late 40's]

As I was waiting for that magical age when I would be deemed old enough for a replacement I started medicating, wrapping, babying my knee, and eating all the herbs I could find. I did find some relief. I could go down stairs in a regular manner - not one at a time, and I was pain freeish most of the day. I paid for it at night or after I sat for any period of time. I could rise to a half crouch, and

s l o w l y straighten my leg. I couldn't put weight on it until I had a resounding pop. Then I could walk off. In a manner of speaking. I would step with my right leg, lift my left hip, and swing my leg in an arc out in front of me. It created a slight roll to my gait. Much like a peg leg sailor, ARRR.

I could still ride horses, but I was the automatic babysitter when hikes were planned. No problem. I love my Grandchildren. Steve got a horse so we could explore the desert together. [Another whole story, but I think he secretly likes the horses more than he lets on!] Life is good, but limited.

One day this last July I assessed my 'quality of life'. Hey, I am youngish [54], do I want to limit what I do for the next 10 years? By this time my knee wouldn't straighten flatter than 20 degrees. Straight knees are 0. My rolling walk had exaggerated, my back was hurting frequently, and I could see muscle atrophy in my lower left leg. In addition my knee wasn't pain free.

I have a friend who pointed out what I was missing. No need. When we moved to this home 2 years ago I kept praying our dog Molly would last long enough to enjoy all the room to roam that we have here. [She has a degenerative nerve thingy] I couldn't walk my dog. Walking is what she needed, but I couldn't. For 2 years Nona has been walking my dog for me. Molly is a whole new dog - she can claim extra years more because of Nona's dedicated walking schedule. Additionally, Nona wouldn't let me weasel out of considering a knee replacement.

Hmm. Time to see 'my' doc.

July. August. Hmm. Maybe I can get in before the snow birds fill the schedule. 2 days later I was at the office. Unfortunately, I woke in the wee hours the night before with a spike in the side of my head. I stumbled to the ibuprofen.

When I got to the doc I could do anything with the knee. I felt stupid. [I can't take NSAIDs or pain relievers on a regular basis - another story] He took x rays. 3. Straight on, from the side - bent, and down behind my kneecap. First he pointed out the calcifications. Like the Genie in Aladdan. Here, here, here ... Then he repeated it with the bone spurs. Big blue genie again. You are bone on bone. [Still?!] Does this hurt? This? This? HEY!!! I am drugged!!! He started the young speech again. Really, like I would believe him THIS time! I told him about the atrophy, showed him how I really walk, described how this is impacting my 'quality' of life.

I bullied TO be ASSIMILATED by the Borg. He gave in. Resistance is futile! :} We had the procedure scheduled for the middle of the next month.

I have to admit I had some anguish of soul CHOOSING to do some pretty brutal things to my body. Maybe I am just being a weenie. The knee isn't SO bad. I was considering leaving as they lead me into the "room".

So, bottom line - was it so bad? No. They used a lot of nerve blocks to stop the pain. No general anesthesia, so I didn't have that horrible groggy feeling [ it lasts months for me]though I was 'out' during the surg. What I learned is that they don't automatically give you pain meds like back in the day. My surgery was Tuesday noon. Wednesday night as the blocks started to wear off I hit pain. I went from discomfort to tears in about 1/2 hour. They got some pain meds in me and some sleeping tabs. They didn't want do listen to my garbage any more! The next morning I prearranged my pain meds - and never looked back.

Strangely, most of my pain is in the muscles they 'realigned' when the gave me the knee. I used to be this <>, bowlegged. Now I am this >>. He is planning to correct my other knee when its time comes. I guess girls are slightly knock kneed due to skeletal construction. sigh. There goes my riding seat!

So, today is the 2 week anniversary of my surgery. I celebrated by driving myself to Walmart [wide aisles, benches, ice packs!] I have to retrain my walking style, I started right back with the ol' sailor roll. I have to be deliberate in how I walk, but I can squat - been at least 6 years, NO KNEE PAIN despite the brutality I had committed upon it. It is not worth waiting! Resistance is futile!!! I feel young! Gonna be walking my dog soon! :}