Sunday musings

Wow! What a difference since my last blog!  I can do almost everything, my only hangup is walking down a steep slippery hill and I am not allowed to ride yet.  I walked the neighborhood on Friday.  I have lived here 2 years [Nov. 1, yea!] and this was the first time I could walk the whole neighborhood.  In fact - that was the most I have walked since Disneyworld, and then I ended up in a wheelchair!  Steve and I had a short hike in the desert yesterday.  I didn't go that far because I was working on my posture and walking correctly.  My endurance and muscle strength is low. 
Fall came.  There was a patch of deciduous trees on Mt. Lemmon I could see from home.  I watched the leaves turn color and now they have all dropped.  This last week we had snow almost down to our elevation.  Not much in the way of seasons around here!  It is raining today.  I love the sound of the rain when I am warm, comfy, and dry in my home.  :} 
I am still amazed about the support I have received while I was recuperating!  My friends cleaned my horse pens for 6 weeks!  I had to fight Nona off - she was determined to keep going! 
My Dr. is letting me experiment with my blood pressure.  I am convinced the reason we can't control it is because it is due to my ADD.  I am always on high alert.  If I could get off high alert I think my blood pressure would come down.  So we are trying Adderol[sp] We have used psych meds to control anxiety but I still quiver like jello inside.  So, I take my first BP reading on Monday, we shall see if this is going to help the BP.  I am pretty sure it is helping my insides. 
I am reading "Inheritance", the last of the Eragon series.  It didn't grab me yet.  I am in a book club at church.  I read "Three Swans of China".  Amazing.  It is a biography of three generations of women from foot binding to Mao to contact with the west.  Ever since I read "The Good Earth" I have been intrigued with their culture, and those crazy hill things that they have tunneled into and made homes in. 
Dad will be going out of town quite a bit for the rest of the year.  Why do they schedule meetings around the holidays?  I thought the fiscal year ended in July.  That is when they should have all these meetings.
I have to add that we have been so blessed.  I am so grateful for everything the Lord has blessed us with.  Our great family, a wonderful husband, our comfort, my new knee, our health.  Living the gospel, and trying to do better to follow the Savior has made an incredible difference in our lives.  I just wish I had grown up more and had a better grasp of the gospel when the kids were little.  I am pleased that they have chosen to be positive with their children, and that they have wonderful family bonds.  Sometimes our children learn from our mistakes and are better for it.  Good for you!  I love my Heavenly Father.  I love my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I am thankful for his atoning sacrifice, and the opportunity it gives me to start over and try again.  I am thankful to live in a time when the Gosple has been restored.  We have a Prophet, and the Priesthood on the earth.  I have seen, felt, and been a recipient of Priesthood power, and know it is because my Heavenly Father loves us that we have the opportunity to use his power to bless others. 

Week's tid bits

So, this is why I don't post often: Lots of nothing new or same old same old. I have made it down to the barn and fed the horses twice. Dad is afraid I may fall and break my leg. I use the walker when I go on uneven ground.

Cali isn't talking to me. She is angry that I have been ignoring them.

Saturday I went with some friends to buy hay from the growers. Kate and Jim had a truck and trailer and the dealer loaded the hay. I'll have one of the local guys unload it here at the barn. We were almost home, turning onto the Florence Highway from Park Links Road. A fer piece north of Catalina. Jim mumbled something about losing 1/2 the load. I didn't feel anything but there they were strewn all over the road. Sigh. Dad would have killed me if I tried to move the bales. Kate had a bad hip and Jim recently had back surgery. Fortunately, people not only slowed down, but several stopped to help get the hay off the road. Poor Jim had to get the hay up on the trailer, then stack it 3 high. He went into superhuman mode and got the job done. By the time he was heading to his house you could see his "super juice" had worn off. I hope he healed up ok. I went home and slept for 3 hours. Big trip for me.

Dad has been on the committee [or maybe in charge of food and decorations] for a Scout fundraiser that will be this week. He is really busy.

We always look forward to Skype or phone visits with the fam. The babies grow up so fast! Love to the fam!

The Crow Eating Hermit

I have always been independent.  To a fault.  I can do it myself.  Pass the crow, please.
I can't do it myself.  I have been amazed at how much help I have received - and how badly I have needed it.  It takes a good 2 weeks to get past the acute effects of the surgery or any of my adventures in body mangling.  I have had people come in and take over my jobs for the last 2 weeks.  I have felt like a slime, a burden, and a lazy bum.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Meals have been brought in and morale lifted.  Horses have been fed, watered, pens cleaned, sent for exercise, and loved on.  Not least is my hubby who has put up with my whining about not being able to get out to the horses, where is my ice pack, can you help me set up the "rack", can you strap me in, I gotta pee - can you unstrap me?  What do you mean you have no shirts?  Why have you been wearing them!?  [My brother once accused me of wanting to coat my cookies in urethane to preserve them forever.  Perhaps it was because he sat and ate 300 wedding cookies my mom had made for a bake sale or something. I never trusted him with a cookie again!]
I am improving.  I am transitioning from a walker to a cane around the house.  If I get too tired I start dragging my leg.  Seems my quads have gone on vacation.  My new physical therapist taught me to isolate my quads and that has been a big help in getting my knee to bend correctly.  Look out!  Here I come. ;}

Resistance is Futile, or My Assimilation into the Borg

For all of you that have a "bit of a twist" like me I thought I would share my experience with a total knee replacement.

Resistance is futile. I had visited my Orthopedist [obviously, I had been seeing too much of him when he became 'mine'!] about knee pain. Yes, I was bone on bone. But I was ,"Too Young". Bless the man. He looked liked he might be an Eagle Scout. He must be telling the truth. OK. So a little arthroscopy for the cartilage tear. It left me not quite able to straighten my leg fully but hey, I was young! [Late 40's]

As I was waiting for that magical age when I would be deemed old enough for a replacement I started medicating, wrapping, babying my knee, and eating all the herbs I could find. I did find some relief. I could go down stairs in a regular manner - not one at a time, and I was pain freeish most of the day. I paid for it at night or after I sat for any period of time. I could rise to a half crouch, and

s l o w l y straighten my leg. I couldn't put weight on it until I had a resounding pop. Then I could walk off. In a manner of speaking. I would step with my right leg, lift my left hip, and swing my leg in an arc out in front of me. It created a slight roll to my gait. Much like a peg leg sailor, ARRR.

I could still ride horses, but I was the automatic babysitter when hikes were planned. No problem. I love my Grandchildren. Steve got a horse so we could explore the desert together. [Another whole story, but I think he secretly likes the horses more than he lets on!] Life is good, but limited.

One day this last July I assessed my 'quality of life'. Hey, I am youngish [54], do I want to limit what I do for the next 10 years? By this time my knee wouldn't straighten flatter than 20 degrees. Straight knees are 0. My rolling walk had exaggerated, my back was hurting frequently, and I could see muscle atrophy in my lower left leg. In addition my knee wasn't pain free.

I have a friend who pointed out what I was missing. No need. When we moved to this home 2 years ago I kept praying our dog Molly would last long enough to enjoy all the room to roam that we have here. [She has a degenerative nerve thingy] I couldn't walk my dog. Walking is what she needed, but I couldn't. For 2 years Nona has been walking my dog for me. Molly is a whole new dog - she can claim extra years more because of Nona's dedicated walking schedule. Additionally, Nona wouldn't let me weasel out of considering a knee replacement.

Hmm. Time to see 'my' doc.

July. August. Hmm. Maybe I can get in before the snow birds fill the schedule. 2 days later I was at the office. Unfortunately, I woke in the wee hours the night before with a spike in the side of my head. I stumbled to the ibuprofen.

When I got to the doc I could do anything with the knee. I felt stupid. [I can't take NSAIDs or pain relievers on a regular basis - another story] He took x rays. 3. Straight on, from the side - bent, and down behind my kneecap. First he pointed out the calcifications. Like the Genie in Aladdan. Here, here, here ... Then he repeated it with the bone spurs. Big blue genie again. You are bone on bone. [Still?!] Does this hurt? This? This? HEY!!! I am drugged!!! He started the young speech again. Really, like I would believe him THIS time! I told him about the atrophy, showed him how I really walk, described how this is impacting my 'quality' of life.

I bullied TO be ASSIMILATED by the Borg. He gave in. Resistance is futile! :} We had the procedure scheduled for the middle of the next month.

I have to admit I had some anguish of soul CHOOSING to do some pretty brutal things to my body. Maybe I am just being a weenie. The knee isn't SO bad. I was considering leaving as they lead me into the "room".

So, bottom line - was it so bad? No. They used a lot of nerve blocks to stop the pain. No general anesthesia, so I didn't have that horrible groggy feeling [ it lasts months for me]though I was 'out' during the surg. What I learned is that they don't automatically give you pain meds like back in the day. My surgery was Tuesday noon. Wednesday night as the blocks started to wear off I hit pain. I went from discomfort to tears in about 1/2 hour. They got some pain meds in me and some sleeping tabs. They didn't want do listen to my garbage any more! The next morning I prearranged my pain meds - and never looked back.

Strangely, most of my pain is in the muscles they 'realigned' when the gave me the knee. I used to be this <>, bowlegged. Now I am this >>. He is planning to correct my other knee when its time comes. I guess girls are slightly knock kneed due to skeletal construction. sigh. There goes my riding seat!

So, today is the 2 week anniversary of my surgery. I celebrated by driving myself to Walmart [wide aisles, benches, ice packs!] I have to retrain my walking style, I started right back with the ol' sailor roll. I have to be deliberate in how I walk, but I can squat - been at least 6 years, NO KNEE PAIN despite the brutality I had committed upon it. It is not worth waiting! Resistance is futile!!! I feel young! Gonna be walking my dog soon! :}

The under belly of things

I have been seeing a different side of many things lately.
Take for instance - geckos. They love the lights and come to feed. Mostly i didn't notice them unless an unfortunate one got squished in the door when it opened and closed. Since the house has been on the market we have kept the drapes open in the office. Sometimes there are 6-8 geckos climbing on the glass enjoying the feast of small, dumb bugs. A while ago one geck had 2 white ovals on the underside. I looked them up and found they can be self replicating. Not hermaphrodidic - but more like a clone.
Tonight i have a tiny geck on the window.
Their prey isn't high in the intelligence pool. They flit around, right past the gecks who then lunge for the kill. Or attempted kill. The moth escapes and then flits in a circle right back to the geck. 4 were circled around a moth and taking pot shots. All he had to do was leave the glass by flying up. He fluttered around in a circle giving everyone a chance to catch him. He met his demise quickly.
Anyway - not only do we get to see gecks doing their thing - we see it from a completely different angle.
Recently i had an opportunity to see our neighborhood in a different angle. I appears that their are 5-7 dope dealers in the apt complex B & B come from. Ben is in 6th grade and he and his brother had already scored some dope. I think Brandon would do it again if he got the chance. I have always felt smuggly secure in our little neighborhood. I know dope is around and kids get exposed to it at school, I just didn't think it was down the block.
It was funny how Ben and Brandon came to our home. I am not sure exactly how it happened, but I am sure that the Lord wanted it that way. These 2 young men have great potential but not a lot of work ethic. The younger one does what the older one does. Interesting perspective on life- from their point of view.
House sales. Another interesting point of view change. Everyone is buying short sales or foreclosures. We have had a lot of lookers - but only one potential buyer. They wanted us to carry the loan. Right. Probably can't secure a loan at a bank, and they want us to carry them?! Ha. So I spen my time dreaming of all the neat houses I would like, and know I am going to end up here. Not bad. I love this house, but wouldn't mind moving either.
Handsurgery. Really cool. My hand is almost better than what it was. My thumb bones actually move now. I can't hyperextend my thumb any more, but it doesn't hurt when I grab stuff. If thy bone offend thee, pluck it out. Sounds good to me.
Night all.

I'm Back!!

I'm not sure what I did differently this time, but I got in!
Now when I get some help at Christmas {yea! The kids are coming!} I can get the awful slide show off, and yes Mark - more pictures.
Hmm, haven't written since June. I know I went to see The Burnside bunch. Had great fun, played with Kit and dogs. [took Molly to meet her cousin] I was supposed to take all the many piles Valerie left here. I thought I had them all until I got home and realized how much I missed!
August. All I can remember was that I played for almost the whole month of August! Got to spend some time with Holly and Noah, and enjoying the 'minimalist' lifestyle. I also got to help with the move in to the new nest. Too cute! We visited with Chris, Melly, and the girls. Short and sweet. It was sure nice to touch base with everyone this summer. Then it was on to Alaska!
Whahoo it was great. The cruise was nice - it was the coldest summer on record. We saw a lot of rain. Occasionly a ghost of a coastline would creep by, prickled with trees. My favorite stop was Skagway. I liked the feel of the town and wished we had planned our time there better. But I had managed to slip and fall on the deck so I was doing the Mom Hobble. Sigh. We did take a helicopter ride onto a glacier. That was cool. I of course didn't have to be told to keep a distance from the holes, as we peered down into an endless cavern. The colors were brilliant and deep. It was so compacted in some places the ice was almost black.
Anchorage was neat because we found my grandad's grave. He died in a car crash 2 years before I was born. He was a bush pilot in Alaska and I always had a draw to go there.
I loved the overland part of the trip. Our guide made the trip. 500 miles in a bus went in a flash and I learned so much. I loved the polygons the tundra broke into, and I loved the silence. The smell and taste [berries, air away from the bus] and the magnitude were all impressive. Reindeer is a little sweet. I love their baggy lips as they plod around on their huge feet. The animals we got to see were a great experience.
Legs has a new home. Susie sent me some pictures - and Legs looks sad. Usually when you walk out he watches you. All her pictures had him not bothering to look at who was out there. I hope they get better.
Time is going fast. Can't wait for the 'horde' to descend! Then Dad can touch base with everyone, too. We are truly blessed!
Love to all!!

The Wild Side

Ah, a walk, or ride, on the wild side. While Steven was at Scout Camp this week, I joined some horse buddies and went camping at the Groom Creek Horse Campground. It was nice. Pine forest, cool breezes, corrals, quiet [after 9 pm when the YMCA camp quieted down. Yup YMCA was the theme song!] and pit toilets. Hey, gotta rough something! I got there Thursday afternoon before the rest of the group and took the dog and horse for a walk in the forest. We walked along the quiet, dusty trails circling around the campground. Horse [Legs] ate grass, dog [Molly] rolled in the spring and sniffed the message boards -who had been there. Legs grew up in the forests of Idaho and this was the first time he got to go back. I think he was hoping I was going to let him go.
The others arrived the next day. Good company, good rides, starry skies. My favorite ride was the last day when Legs and I went for a meander to the summit on a loop trail. Found out the summit was called Spruce ridge. I wondered why until just after the sign Blue Spruces were everywhere. The forest was quiet with patches of deep shade, occasional vistas, and [gasp] sheer cliffs. I found some unusual deep holes with all the dirt mounded on one side - I think they were old mining pits. Later I found a trail called Translucent Mine Trail, yup - I think there used to be mining in those parts. The best part was the [trappers?] cabin. It had been built into the side of the hill with a pile of rocks where the chimney used to be. Two of the walls were still standing. They were made of rough hewn logs, 2.5' wide and split in half and notched together. The door was there but the roof and one of the log sides were gone. Cool. I can see why the Mountain Men took their stuff with them. I wondered where this trail would lead, what was over that rise, how about over there ... Most of my ride was in solitude, but it seemed that everyone and their dog and their horse was going up on the last leg of my ride down. Busy place, especially since the nearest house was 5 min from the campground. Seems the top of the mountain is one of the edges of the forest boundry and there are houses just down the road. Still it was a great place to be. Jean says there is a nice campground in Flagstaff ... :}